Category Archives: Communication

16May 2013

How Did They Know So Much About Me?

⋅ Leave a Comment

Have you ever noticed that some people who don’t even know you, seem to have the ability to describe your character traits or events in your life, but if you look a little closer they never actually say anything specific? These are often people who get paid for this ability.

Today’s post is re-blogged from The Articulate CEO, the blog of Brett Rutledge, Executive Communication Coach and one Australia’s most respected communicators. Here is his take on what is called The Barnum Effect…

Ever wondered why people seem so easily conned by slick talkers? The answer may lie in a phenomenon known as the Barnum Effect. The Barnum effect is the name given to a type of subjective validation in which a person finds personal meaning in statements that could apply to many people.

For example:

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. At times you have serious doubts whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.

If these statements sound like they came from a news stand astrology book, that may be because they did. Such statements are sometimes called Barnum statements and they are an effective element in the repertoire of anyone doing readings: astrologers, palm readers, psychics, H.R. Managers and so on.

When statements like this appear on things like personality inventories that people believe have been especially prepared for them alone, they often validate the accuracy of such statements and thereby give validity to the instrument used to arrive at them. If Barnum statements are validated when they have originated during a psychic reading for example, the validation is taken as also validating the psychic powers of the medium.You see the same kinds of statements and conclusions for that matter in things as diverse as economic analyses, school reports and performance evaluations.

Incidentally, “Barnum effect” is an expression that seems to have originated with psychologist Paul Meehl, in deference to circus man P. T. Barnum’s reputation as a master psychological manipulator who is said to have claimed “we have something for everybody.”

And that about sums it up – they are statements in which there is something for everyone.

Pt-barnum

07May 2013

Introvert At Work. Hold That Thought.

⋅ Leave a Comment

Imagine you’re a marathon runner and you’re just getting into that zone where you’ve settled into a comfortable rhythm. It’s taken a few miles to settle into that rhythm but now everything is working well and you’re really making good progress. All of a sudden someone you know beside the road calls your name and steps out in front of you waving their arms.

You feel obliged to stop running and ask “What’s wrong?”

They say “Oh, nothing. I just saw you running along there and haven’t seen you for ages so I just wanted to say “Hi!”"

What?

You resist your desire to to choke them, politely say “Hi” and get back to your running. Except now you’ve lost your rhythm and it takes a while to get back into it again. Unbelievably, just as you are getting back into your zone, it happens again! And of course, once again, you have to start over and try to re-focus on the task at hand.

Outwardly you try to be polite but underneath you are absolutely seething. Isn’t it obvious you are busy with something? By the time it’s happened another eight or nine times you are ready to explode with rage. Your head is spinning and your body is so tense that it’s impossible to think about anything – let alone what you were doing in the first place. In the end you either don’t finish the race or it takes about ten times longer than it should.

Hands up if this scenario reminds you of a typical day at the office?

Every time you get into your ‘zone’ you feel someone hovering at the door, the phone rings, or someone just barges in. Every time it happens you feel your stress levels rising.

The odds are that you are probably an introvert and you aren’t alone.

Even though roughly 50 percent of the population are introverts, it is one of the dilemmas of modern life that workplaces are very much designed to suit extroverts.

If allowed, we introverts can get deep inside our own minds to a place that is extremely productive. The problem is that things like open plan offices, technology on tap, and the idea that being a ‘team player’ means always being available, are all barriers to getting to and staying in, that place. Once interrupted it can take a long time to get back to where we were.

It’s not that we aren’t sociable – introversion and shyness are different things and we’re quite happy for a chat during morning tea and lunch – it’s just that we need space to let our minds work without our thoughts being interrupted. That’s where technology has the potential to be good: if only people would not ring wanting to know if we saw their email just because we didn’t reply within 30 seconds.

Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (affiliate link) points out in a recent article in the New York Times, that solitude seems to have become unpopular in our schools, workplaces and other institutions. She says lone geniuses are on the outer in favour of collaboration, open plan offices and so-called ‘people skills’ (what some perceive as people skills is really just noise – not effective communication).

The New Groupthink has overtaken our workplaces, our schools and our religious institutions. Anyone who has ever needed noise-canceling headphones in her own office or marked an online calendar with a fake meeting in order to escape yet another real one knows what I’m talking about. Virtually all American workers now spend time on teams and some 70 percent inhabit open-plan offices, in which no one has “a room of one’s own.”

I would suggest that much the same applies here in Australia.

Of course we cannot exist in our own little vacuum. In fact, many introverts are great presenters and can make very insightful contributions to any group. However, not having the personal space to think through the issues before publicising our thoughts can be frustrating at best, and a risk to mental and physical health at worst. To quote Susan Cain again;

it’s one thing to associate with a group in which each member works autonomously on his piece of the puzzle; it’s another to be corralled into endless meetings or conference calls conducted in offices that afford no respite from the noise and gaze of co-workers. Studies show that open-plan offices make workers hostile, insecure and distracted. They’re also more likely to suffer from high blood pressure, stress, the flu and exhaustion.

Introverts don’t need to be rescued, they just need space.

When you see an introvert deep in thought, please be assured that they don’t need to be cheered up or rescued. In fact they are probably deliriously happy being alone with their own thoughts. If you have a thought that you feel must be shared straight away or you will absolutely die, please try to find another extrovert who may appreciate it. Once the introvert has accomplished what they need to, they would probably love to hear about it as well.

 

15Jan 2013

A Simple Formula For Introducing A Speaker

Whether you are an MC, chairing a meeting, or simply hosting some type of event where a speaker has been invited, if you can introduce a speaker properly then you will be well ahead of the field.

Except by good MC’s this is often something that is botched or just doesn’t happen.

The introduction should create a bridge between the speaker and the audience. It should sell the topic and the speaker so they are in favour with the audience from the start (of course if they go on to bore the audience to tears that is their issue not yours).

Here’s an easy formula taught many years ago by Dale Carnegie but which is just as effective today. It’s called TIS.

T – Topic

What is the topic of the speech?

I – Importance

This is where you connect the the topic and the audience by showing them why it is relevant to them.

S -Speaker

Why is this speaker qualified to speak on this topic?

The very last thing you should say is the speaker’s first and last name ie. “Would you please welcome Bill Smith”.

You can be creative and humorous within this framework if you want to but don’t say anything that devalues the topic or the speaker. Keep the introduction to about a minute, maybe 1 & 1/2 minutes. Definitely no more than 2 unless there is a really good reason such as the speaker has supplied you with something they want you to read before they start.

It’s that easy but will get your speaker off to great start.

22May 2012

NOW RECRUITING: Ninjas, Gurus, and Rock Stars. Must Have Passion.

No longer is it enough to be skilled at your job and be reasonably easy to get along with. That continuous fountain of corporate speak, gobbledegook and general dribble - the recruitment industry – has been at it again. Last week the Wall Street Journal reported that job listings in the U.S seeking people who are “ninjas”, “jedis”, “gurus” and “rock stars” have increased significantly over the past six years. While still relatively low in prevalence, there is a distinct trend towards the use of such terms.

Of course, noone could blame him for contemplating a career change after Chinese Democracy, but I don’t think Axl Rose would be that well suited to a job in I.T. Likewise if Ghandi were still alive, I don’t think he would be too keen on working his way through those accounts payable.

Since whatever happens in the U.S generally flows to Australia, I decided to check and see how much demand there was for ninjas, jedis, rock stars and gurus  here. On job site SEEK.com.au today there are a total of 141,920 jobs in Australia. Thankfully only 15 require you to have been a covert mercenary in 16th century Japan and just 2 require someone from the Galactic Republic who has ”The Force” with them. If those illegal music downloads have dried up your record company royalties and you’ve run out of ideas for some new stuff, there are 58 opportunities for you. There is a stronger demand for gurus though with 550 employers seeking people who can provide divine revelations on everything from mobility equipment to data entry.

What about some of those other terms we love so much?

You’ll be pleased to know that 961 employers don’t simply want you to turn up for work but rather, go on a “journey”.

But when it comes to over-used words, the big one is “PASSION”. I will put my hand up now and confess to guilt when it comes to saying that I am passionate about certain things in my life when in retrospect it is probably not an appropriate term to use. But I am certainly not alone and it seems recruiters have taken the use of the word “passion” to a new level.

It’s not enough to enjoy or be interested in your work and be competent at it anymore. You have to be passionate about it these days. In some careers I understand that a strong feeling of purpose drives people, but let’s be honest, there are jobs that people do for the money and for the security that comes with steady employment. That’s it. To tell them they should be passionate about it is an insult to their intelligence.

Nonetheless as of today there are 13473 jobs on SEEK that require “passion” as a prerequisite and 10943 that require you to be “passionate” about anything from selling bathroom and kitchen fittings to fitting tyres. By the way if those things really do arouse strong feelings in you, then it’s not too late to get your CV in.

While ”passion” has come to describe any type of strong feeling, as executive communication coach Brett Rutledge points out in a recent article, the two true meanings of the word are 1) a strong sexual desire and 2) Christ’s suffering on the cross. If either of those things describe a typical day at the office for you, it might be an idea to get a lawyer pronto (unless you have your eye on a political or football career in which case just go for it - you can always shed a few tears and apologise later).

So if you are a ninja, jedi, rock star or guru and you thought your skills weren’t relevant in the modern business world, then take heart. It certainly appears that demand is on the rise. All you need is some passion and you could soon be starting a new journey.

 

 

 

 

30Jan 2012

If Ever There Was A Time To Be Brief

I doubt that Mr Oh from Kia or Steve Healy from Tennis Australia would be reading this but the message I have for them is one we can all learn from.

Here’s the situation: It’s nearly 2am in Melbourne and Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal have just played the longest grand slam final in open history. The only people anyone in the audience wants to hear from are the two players who are actually visibly struggling to physically make it through the awards ceremony. If ever there was a time to ditch your planned speech and keep it short and sweet, this is it.

One commentator suggested they might accept half the prize money if only someone would hurry things up.

However, Mr Oh and Mr Healy both insisted on ploughing through their prepared speeches while everyone else’s patience started to run out. Thankfully somebody finally got the players chairs before they collapsed.

The lesson here is to be aware of the circumstances you are speaking in and be flexible. Things change and your ability to adapt could mean the difference between appreciation and resentment from your audience. In any case at awards ceremonies it’s always a good idea to follow this golden rule:

Be Introduced. Be Brief. Be Seated.